Light of the World

"I am the light of the world.  He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life." - John 8:12

It is early in the morning and she's sleeping in the arms of her lover.  She feels some regret over what she has just done but it's okay because her husband will never find out.  They've kept their relationship a secret this long.  If no one had found out yet, they weren't going to find out at all.

Suddenly there are footsteps outside.  She dismisses them as just a passerby but slowly she realizes that those are not footsteps of one person but rather a large group.  Who could be up so early this morning?  Hoping that the clamoring sound of sandals will disappear as quickly as the night sky, she grips her lover a little tighter.  Who could that be?  Why are the footsteps getting closer?  She hears voices, men's voices.  She can't quite figure out exactly who it is but she's heard the voices before.  Where had she heard them?  The voices are getting louder and closer.  They are seemingly just outside the door.  Then it hits her:  those are the voices of the religious leaders!  The same men who call attention to themselves when making an offering at the temple.  The same men that overcharged her last week for her animal sacrifice.  She knows those voices all too well.  "Please pass by!" the little voice in her head screams.  "Please don't come in here.  If my husband were to every find out...."

It all happened so fast.  The religious leaders had burst in the door with such force, such anger.  She didn't even have time to put her clothes on.  The only thing she could do was grab the blanket that had once covered the sins of her and her lover.  Now it seemed that blanket would be thrown open for the world to know to she had been sleeping with a man that was not her husband.  What were they going to do to her?  The law called for her to be stoned.  Where is her lover?  Surely he is just as guilty as she is.  But they're not taking her to be stoned.  Where are they taking her?

After what seems like ages being dragged through the streets and the dirt, she is finally thrown down in front of the temple.  Why would they bring her here?  She felt bad enough as it was.  She didn't need to be reminded that God was furious with her too.  She knew the ultimate price she was about to pay.  Soon she was going to be standing in front of her Maker and would be searching for the right argument to give why she was not being faithful to her husband.

Not wanting to face her accusers, she stares at the ground.  She can't believe the religious leaders are drawing out their mockery of her.  It would have been so much easier to just be taken out and stoned rather than face the people who knew her.  She can't look down far enough.  The Pharisees start talking and condemning her,  "We just caught this woman in the very act of adultery!  The law says that she should be stoned to death.  What do you say to that?"

The silence was deafening.  She was waiting to hear some sort of response.  Nobody.  What happened to the gossip of the crowd?  Why was it so quiet?  Did everyone just disappear? Somebody say something!  Not able to bear the silence anymore, she has to look up.   As she lifts her head, her eyes meet the gaze of a Man.  She's seen Him before.  She knows who He is.  It's Jesus of Nazareth.  Just when she couldn't feel any worse about herself, she was now cast down before a Man who claimed to be the Son of God.  Why couldn't they have just stone her?

But as she looks into His eyes, something is different.  If she didn't know any better, it was almost as if He was smiling at her.  Surely He must be mistaken.  Was it not clear why she was in front of Him?  Why are His eyes so comforting?  As she continues to stare in His eyes, she realizes He is different.  The same anger that the Pharisees had in their eyes are not in His.  Why would this holy Man of God look at her so differently?  As His eyes continue to pierce hers, it feels like He is looking at more than just her hazel brown eyes.  It's almost as if He is looking into her soul, as if He could see every sin she had ever committed but He wasn't stopping there.  He knew this is not who she really was.  All she wanted was love.  All she wanted was to be appreciated.  All she wanted was to be forgiven....

With a slight nod, Jesus breaks His gaze and stands next to her and faces her accusers.  She's waiting for Him to start speaking but He doesn't utter a single sound.  Out of her peripheral she can see Him start to bend down.  What is He doing?  Is He....is He wring in the dirt?  What could He be writing?  After a few moments scribbling in the dirt, He stands up.  She tries to read the dirt without being noticed but it's no use.  Jesus emphatically declares, "Whoever has not committed a sin in his life, go ahead and throw the first stone."  Bracing herself, she cowers.  At any second that first stone is going to hit and it's going to hurt.  How many stones would she have to endure before it ended?  However many it would take, she hoped that it would go by quickly.  She braces, tightening her body hoping that it will somehow make the stone hurt less.  She waits.  And waits.  Why isn't anyone throwing their stones yet?  Just get it over with!

Slowly she opens her eyes and looks in the direction of Jesus.  She can see His face and it is polar opposite of the look He gave her just moments ago.  It's as if there is fire in His eyes.  She quickly turns away knowing that is a look she never wants to see again.  As if to break the silence, she feels Jesus kneel yet again.  He continues writing something in the dirt.  What on earth could He be writing?  Suddenly, she hears a thud on the ground.  Then another.  Yet another.  It sounds like it's raining stones all around her.  Then she hears footsteps.  As scared as she was earlier that morning, she is equally relieved to hear the footsteps walking away from her. One by one she hears the flapping of the sandals continue to slip into the morning.  How many of them were there?  She had lost count by now.

Finally, she hears the last stone drop and listens as the man's footsteps stubbornly walk away.  Still afraid to look up at Jesus, she feels him bend down once more.  Again He is in the dirt but this time there seems to be no slow pattern to His motions.  He is erasing everything He spent His precious time writing.  She hears Him walk back and stand right in front of her.  She doesn't need to look up to know His eyes are fixed on the back of her head.

"Look around and tell me who is here to condemn you, " He says.  She almost can't muster the strength to look up.  What if there is still a crowd looking at her?  The thought of looking into the eyes of all of those people momentarily strikes her with fear.  She wonders if this Jesus would consider calling back the Pharisees to continue with the stoning so she wouldn't have to look up.

Despite going against everything her instincts are telling her, she looks up.  She again meets the eyes of Jesus, who simply holds out his hand as if to be telling her, "look around."  She turns to her left.  No one.  She turns to her right.  Nope.  She looks behind her.  Not a single soul.  She meets Jesus' eyes once more.  Of all the words in the world, she says the first three that come to mind:  "No one, Lord."

As He continues to look into her eyes, she can feel the warmth.  No other pair of eyes have ever seemed so inviting...so tender...so...loving.  "I do not condemn you either.  Now go and sin no more."  That's it?  That's all He has to say?  Then it hits her like a ton of bricks:  that's all He needs to say.  Those are more than just words.  It was an invitation; it was sincerity; it was...forgiveness.

She slowly rises to her knees.  She takes one last look into His eyes and realizes that this may be the last time she sees those eyes on earth.  Who knows the next time she would see Him.  Surely since He was the Son of God, she was going to die before He was....

At that moment, emotion overcomes her and all she can think to do is embrace Him.  She's never hugged anyone this tight.  She holds on to Him as if her life depends on it and hopes it will never end.  She pulls away and begins to walk home.  As if to remind her one last time, she hears His voice usher one last declaration.  "I am the light of the world.  He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."  She turns to see Him but He's no longer there.  An ear to ear smile overcomes her knowing that though she can't see Him, He can see her.

As she makes the quiet walk home, she can't stop thinking about his last statement.  She repeats it to herself, "I am."   "I am."  Where has she heard that phrase before?  Suddenly she realizes that that same phrase was spoken to Moses by God.  "I AM".  She knows that she has seen the face of God Himself.

As she approaches her door, she stops and takes a look at the morning sky.  The clouds have never seemed so white before.  She smiles, not because she has just seen the Son of God but because she knows she will see Him again.